


This year's Sexiest Man Alive is...

by sly2o



Category: 21st Century CE RPF, DC Cinematic Universe RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 16:19:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12751827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sly2o/pseuds/sly2o
Summary: People Magazine has announced the Sexiest Man Alive and the results are surprising...





	This year's Sexiest Man Alive is...

“drum roll please…”

The reporters sat in front of the podium, phones in hand, half crafted tweets ready to hit send. They just needed one last detail for completion: the name of this year’s sexiest man. In front of them a grey-haired man stepped towards the podium and smiled as he started to rip open the envelope.

He pulled the card gingerly from the envelope and took a moment to read the card - obviously to stretch out the anticipation of the moment. He smiled widely as he leaned in to the microphone, “and the sexiest person of the year is… Chris.”

The silence after the word Chris hung there for a moment, but quickly shouts of “who?” and “which one?” started up. Eventually one loud voice broke through causing the rest of the gallery to quiet down.

The reporter stood to make sure she was heard as she asked “which Chris? Pine? Hemsworth? Evans? Pratt?”

The grey haired man smiled and said a single word.

“Yes.”

* * *

 

TMZ was the first to report that it was in fact Chris Evans that had won. One of their young reporters with something to prove broke into a convenience store and stole the box of magazines that had been delivered for sale the next day.

But in the morning quickly that story disintegrated.

The Eastern seaboard was first to rise and Twitter users in New York City were sharing pictures of a cover with Chris Rock on the cover - many with openly mocking comments at TMZ for getting it wrong. But as more and more people woke up and went to about their daily routine more covers were discovered.

Chicago had Chris Pine on the cover. Many of the Texas towns had Chris Hemsworth. Florida residents were posting pictures where Chris Tucker was on the cover. TMZ in fact was right and wrong. Chris Evans was on the cover, but only for those in California.

All across Canada the copies of People had Chris Hadfield on the cover.

It was unclear if some people had found rare copies. Someone from Missouri posted a selfie of themselves with Christopher Walken on the cover. Someone named Chris Larkin from a CW post-apocalypse show was found on some covers in Seattle. A 30 year old woman from Indiana with tears in her eyes joyfully put up a snap of her and her cover with Chris Kirpatrick - her favourite from N’Sync had finally gotten recognition. 

Weirdest of all was the seasonal copy with “Kris Kringle” on the cover. 

But one thing was for certain. That year, the sexiest man was Chris. 

**Author's Note:**

> But seriously they missed out by not capitalizing on the Chriscourse.


End file.
